Take Me To Church

My lover’s got humour
She’s the giggle at a funeral

She is wildfire. Her eyes so blue, her laughter sticks on my tongue even after she is long gone.
Most Broken things are beautiful, but not as beautiful as she is. She tugs at my heart strings, my will twisting to her whims
I met her as a stranger, between the sheets of paper that was my identity, I found her nestled like a treasure.
It feels strange though, to call her a stranger.

Knows everybody’s disapproval
I should’ve worshipped her sooner

I knew her, I knew those eyes. The ache in my heart, the flow of words on my shy tongue spoke of the secret I was blind to. The adorable tilt of her head, as she confided in me, the sweet vulnerability with which she drew me in her world of longing and a dull ache that throbbed under her strangely winning smile, sang in my blood.
How could I have known?  Oh but I should have, the moment I set my eyes on her, I should have known, I should have known by the startling numbness that spread over me.
Like a sunflower that turns unaware towards its light source, my life swirled in its foundation.

If the Heavens ever did speak
She is the last true mouthpiece

She knew she was wrong, when she seduced me. Oh she knew how she controlled me with her sweetness, with her witch-like charm. She knew how unworthily I craved for her, and she reveled in it. She broke me before I knew I was being broken, healed the madness in me.
Her skin was like honey, all I wanted to do was hold her. The fragile softness of her breath as I swayed her in my arms, she was gentleness. She was sinful.
Her blue eyes, dark with lust, her lips pouting into a quiet question, she was the furthest from truth I have ever been.

Every Sunday’s getting more bleak
A fresh poison each week

The world was a thorn, a torment that ached deep within my soul, the lights too harsh, my senses dulled. I was a sunflower withering under the cold pale moonlight.
I did not know, that I wanted her, no thought came to my head. Yet I thought of her. My unconscious mind seemed to weave her into my senses.
Her spells had made me dizzy.

‘We were born sick,’ you heard them say it

What I wished from her, what drew her to me, was a sin to everybody else. Her presence, her lilting laughter, her gait, her charm was a sin. She was a living, breathing enticement into the nine circles of hell.
And I wanted to freeze like Lucifer, in the deepest of them all.

My church offers no absolution
She tells me ‘worship in the bedroom’

When I gave in at last, my lips trembling, my flimsy frame shivering, for she was so near; I knew there was no going back. I shoved away all thoughts, not voluntarily. I did not step into sin, I embraced it without a single thought in my head, except for her, and her foreign, tender needs.
I took her in my arms, or she took me in hers, my senses were too high, I forget. Or I remember in too much colour; When there are so many feelings rushing through a frame, they tend to get overlapped, till I made love in a haze of coloured glass pieces, dancing patterns of a kaleidoscope.

The only heaven I’ll be sent to
Is when I’m alone with you

Evil holds in itself, the power of heavenly bliss. I do not call her evil, mind you. She was merely a witch, enticing the devil in me to rise up and snuff her like a candle. I lay broken in her arms, she lay moaning in mine. I was filled, her soft hair on my skin, her perfume a heady sense of dizziness that made me do unspeakable things.

I was born sick, but I love it
Command me to be well

The darkness was in me all along, she sucked it out, drinking in the bitterness I offered to her, her love for my monstrous desires sending me over the edge. Oh how she toyed with me. How she took the whips in her hand, twisted the tables towards herself. My hold on her slipped, she was in a moment, taking everything I could ever keep to preserve my sanity. She was healing me. She was binding me, to herself, to her enchantment; to her unflinching air of command.

Amen. Amen. Amen

She hovers over me, her soft frame, her skin like satin, her eyes on me, her wicked mouth breathing life into me.
She is waiting, waiting for me to do what I have never done- she is waiting for me to break. My darkness flags, ripples and stiffens, a curtain turned to glass. The moment stretches, blinding, piercing pain as my sanity wrestled with the darkness. Then the glass shatters into a thousand fragmented shards, a rain of dark tears, I let myself go, my voice a bare whisper-

Take me to church.

She was not a person, she was more.  She was A sensation, a feeling of absolution, sweet pure water on a burnt throat. The more it hurt, the more I craved, the more I suffered, the more I became. She was pure, bright relentless joy, pouring over me, like sweetness.

I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

As I stood at the door, watching her presence fill the room to the brim. She took me, she did to me things that are unforgivable, she made me hers, without even knowing. She wasn’t a schemer, she wasn’t a seductress.
She was a goddess, a creature who doesn’t belong in the darkness of my mundane flesh. She was brightness and searing pain, such pleasure that my soul sang.
I was hers, I was crippled, I was human. I was broken, whimpering, wanting, craving.
I was silence, awaiting her judgement, awaiting her pleasure.
I was in charge, but only because she wanted me to be.

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

She was beautiful, as she breathed, her eyes closing in ecstasy. She was one of those rare creatures on whom, if you inflict pleasure, it seeps out and drowns the world in it. She writhed, she burned, she moaned with darkness twisting in her, she was a witch, with her dark blue eyes staring into mine, seducing me long after I was hers.

If I thought, she was done with me, she would grab me by my wrist, her sweetness overcoming me.
She would push me, with her laughter, her childish charm, her wickedness and at my affection, her squealing splash of glee.

If I’m a pagan of the good times
My lover’s the sunlight

She was everywhere. I couldn’t’t breathe without the air seeped in her scent. She stood there, bright, blinding, the sweet sounds of epiphany.

To keep the Goddess on my side
She demands a sacrifice

I forget, myself, my love, my life. It is her I want. 

To drain the whole sea

I consume her, completely, holding her on the edge, dangling her with a string. I feel the trembling of a coming tsunami under my feet, but I hold her, till she gives in. She is mine, she doesn’t know, I cannot bear to share her.

Get something shiny

Her mouth was a sin. When she told me she wanted me, the sweetness of those lips painting my world red as she drank me. There was nothing I wanted more. I was the epitome of depravity.

Something meaty for the main course
That’s a fine looking high horse
What you got in the stable?
We’ve a lot of starving faithful

If I had my way, I would claim her, but the world was wider than the small bubble of sin and salvation we were drowning in.
I remember so well, I was trembling with need, with an irrepressible urge to break and mend sweet alien things, when she looked at me with her stranger’s eyes, drawing me further in with her thoughtless charms.
She had seduced me, now she was weaving a tenderness into my soul, my love for her, cutting me deep.

That looks tasty
That looks plenty
This is hungry work

Her languid torture, in making me fall so helplessly in love, when I was aware of how much it was hurting- it made me torment her, making love to her till drops of silver dropped from her eyes, and I knew she had done that purposely.

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

She was a temptress, such a celestial beauty, such a broken sad child, I wanted to shelter her, and hurt her all at once.

No masters or kings when the ritual begins

She was my goddess, and I intended to worship her right. The circle of healing broke this irreparably. Who was breaking, who was mending, I wish I knew.
I just knew that she was beautiful, she was warmth and she was in my mercy. Or I was in hers. The line blurred at a point.

There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin
In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene
Only then I am human
Only then I am clean
Amen. Amen. Amen. 


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