1. “She could procrastinate about her feelings.
I believe I owe you an explanation there. But seriously, I am literally too lazy too deal with my feelings. If I have a potential break up-im like, “ah I’ll deal with it later, ,I’m not in a mood to cry”
2. “She still doesn’t know the point of Facebook”
Once a month I log in, I roam around like a hobo- reject perfectly understandable friend requests and log out again.
3. “She never completed a story”
The storyline always peters out after the sex scene. I am a miserable writer.
4. “If she died, it was possibly homicide”
People don’t really like me.
5. “She loved things she didn’t understand, studied science and wrote poetry”
That actually sounds quite romantic.
6. “She called her lover princess.”
And he was a big hunk of a manly man.
7. “She was a rare kind of insane”
Undetectable unless you’re in bed with me and I bite off your ear.
8. “She could spurt wings but never become funny”
Pigs, cows and liars fly.
9. “She has fantasised about everyone”
Creativity and hormones. Fuck the police.
10. “Epic fail”
That really sums up my life, my death,and this post.