I keep dancing on my own

  Somebody said you got a new friend Does she love you better than I can? Remember what I had made you promise me? Never settle for someone who doesn’t love you half as much as I do. I stayed shut through the days you said nothing was wrong.  I had packed my bags, I was at the door. I only stayed because you had asked me to. I’ve never had anything from you, yet what you gave I treasured. When you pushed it till the end, I burnt it all away. Acid burning my eyes as I stood in your hard, watching the bonfire blaze with pictures, notes, memories of times when you cared. I hug the blanket closer, you’re never home, and I cannot help but think it is because you’ll have to see me when you come back. And maybe you don’t want to see this face no more. There’s a big black sky over my town I know where you’re at, I bet she’s around   I’m broken up inside, every time you leave, there are more shards, each cutting me down. I can’t help remember, that time when you found me beautiful. When you came in and there was laughter as you lifted me in your arms, when you spun me around in circles and carried me to our bed. The way you’d tell me you’d love me always. The tears never stop. When you walk away, even when I’m curled up crying in a corner because I just need someone to hold me; I stare up at your receding figure, just hoping you’d look back. Yeah, I know it’s stupid I just gotta see it for myself Whenever I see you, it is that rock in my throat, I can’t breathe. It is still like the first time, when I realised you were like no one else. Over the time when I was everything to you- Till today when: I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her, You’re breathtakingly beautiful to me. I’m right over here, why can’t you see me?   Some day I think I’ll get better again, then I stare at the mirror, replaying your rejection of the night before. Replaying the thousands of rejections, every single day of my life; and I watch you walk away with out ever glancing back. I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the girl you’re taking home, I keep dancing on my own I keep dancing on my own As I stare out of the window, watching you move, shrugging off the shadow my presence casts on you as you get into the car.   I remember when I saw you both together. The way she smiled as you sheltered her from the rain; While I stood shivering, staring at the crook of your back- the body I had held so many times. I’m just gonna dance all night I’m all messed up, I’m so out of line The screaming never stops, broken up as I see you stare at me with that expression of pity. You know we have drifted so far apart, you couldn’t care less. You have more on your mind. Stilettos and broken bottles I’m spinning around in circles When you come home, you don’t want to find me drunk, lying in a corner, ashtray overflowing- eyes bleary from my attempts at blotting it all out. No matter how many bottles I drown, the rivers of tears that thunder down- The picture is seared in my mind when I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her,  I’m right over here, why can’t you see me,  I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the girl you’re taking home,  I keep dancing on my own I keep dancing on my own   So far away but still so near The lights go on, the music dies   When you hold me to yourself, I try not to cling, knowing how fast you’ll forget. I can hear the tap of your impatient feet, but I just can’t seem to let you go. I wish I could take your scent with me, lock it up with me before you leave. But you don’t see me standing here I just came to say goodbye   I remember how you’d hold me and answer all my questions, my childish frame pressed into yours while you wondered how you got so lucky. Now I’m the one staring at you fading away;  I’ve seen you turn your face away when I kiss you, while my mind keeps replaying how you’d kiss me breathless. I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her,  I’m giving it my all, but I’m not the girl you’re taking home,  I keep dancing on my own I keep dancing on my own  


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