Do I wanna know?

The air pounded around my ears, the throb of music bringing on the first grains of a pulsing headache. Through the psychedelic green lights and smoke, drifting in the room I catch your eye for the third time in a row.
Kohl rimmed eyes fixed on me, a flash of color from the purple streaks in your hair, flash of black nail paint as you flick a strand from your face.

Have you got color in your cheeks?
Do you ever get that fear that you can’t shift
The embers glow on the edge of my lips as I take another drag, ash motes floating in the garish light, now a hideous shade of yellow.
The cigarette dangles between my forefinger and thumb, I see the gleam of the upturned glass as you swallow your sixth shot of the night.
Yes, I have been counting. I have been staring, at how perfectly your body moves in the tight bottomed denims, how you grind and move even when you are standing absolutely still. How the music leaps off your skin, your face alive in the steady beat of the bass drum.
I cant take my eyes off you, you’re
The type that sticks around like something in your teeth?
The host slides up to you, I see your nails gleam as you run your fingers down his arms, the flash of teeth and the eyes set in with dramatic eye liner batting at him, you’re an age old coquette.
Only I notice how you shift slightly, almost deliberately leaning forward, openly seducing him, while secretly seducing me.
Are there some aces up your sleeve?
The toss of your hair, and I get up. The leather retains my shape in the couch, a mild impression, like the one you think you have made.
Have you no idea that you’re in deep?
I dreamt about you nearly every night this week
I light another cigarette, staring at the back of your bare neck, the top of black ink visible. I start walking towards you, entranced by the way the tattoo dances in the now pulsing RGB lights.
How many secrets can you keep?
I can smell your hair, as my hand slowly spins the empty shot glass. I can see the impression of your lip gloss on it. I hear a lilting laugh and I look up at our host, catch your reflection in his eyes.
‘Cause there’s this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat
For a moment your back stiffens, before you turn around, a slow circle meant to intimidate me.
I think of you in your uniform, listlessly punching in products in the cash register . I look at the woman standing before me, eyes lit with fire that wasn’t just quite drug trips and tequila.
I remember how I had scoured every source I have to find you, looping over a silly make up tutorial you had put in on the internet.
Gazing at the way you draw the dramatic lines around those brown eyes
Until I fall asleep
Spilling drinks on my settee

This is what limerence is, then. I could feel the way my blood was throbbing in my ears, and as you look at me, I wonder
Do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways?

The music is loud around us, and it seems to be drawing you in. one of your feet keeps tapping on the ground, a longing to be one with the tune. I glance at the writhing mass of bodies through the red haze, as you brush past me. A part of my heart aches, almost tugging me after you.
Sad to see you go
Was sort of hoping that you’d stay

You stand at the edge of the throng, your hands run up in your hair as you move in a slow lazy twist; putting on a show , you know I am watching. You are turning and grinding, swinging your hips, the music soaking you to the skin.
Baby we both know
That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day
Your seduction gets through, my heels clicking on the smooth floor as I move behind you. My thumbs brush up your arms till I take your raised hands in mine, and then you back up against me.
Your hair tickles my nose, your scent wraps me in a bubble that only speaks of the both of us and for a moment the world stops moving. Glasses remain suspended mid-flight, the beat warps and I breathe in your ear that I was always

Crawling back to you.

Then we are lost in sensations. My hand around your slim waist and my lips against your ear; I can feel the way your ass grinds into me, your hands moving back to grab my hair, tugging at the thin strands as you melt back into me.
The ride back to my place was being dipped in fire. You straddling my lap and leaning against the steering wheel, your hands searing my skin where they roamed under my shirt. I could see the bare stretch of road before me, your eyes caught the glow in the street lamps whizzing past us, only your scent in the darkness of my car. The gloss from your cupid lips smudged, and you bit your lip as we hit a bump; making you bounce on my thighs. I couldn’t fight it any longer, and caught your mouth in a kiss. My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter, your lips tasted like paradise and candy. Your hand snaked in my hair as you pulled me down hungrily, my lips opening against yours as I fought to keep my eyes on the road.

I am losing my mind, as you grind your soft frame into me, and when I finally screech the car to a stop on my gravel driveway, we don’t make it to the house.

I regain my senses next morning, the music player still playing an incessant beat.
I watch you bend down and pick up your clothes, the sweat on your skin shimmering in the yellow light of my room, the purple streak in your hair dangling in front of your nose.
I cup my palm around the lighter, drawing in relief with the smoke that flows into my lungs. Half-closed eyes watch you systematically button the shirt I had undone with my teeth last night, the light filtering out from the crack in the curtain tells me its barely dawn.
You don’t wish me goodbye, when you shut the door behind you.

Its been a while since we have seen each other, I stare at the oily liquid in my glass, trying to get the thought of you out of my mind. I keep kicking the counter with my heel, give an absentminded smile to a girl who offers to buy me a drink.
Ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few?
The smoke clouds around my face, I think of dropping by where you work,
I chew my lip, wondering when I turned so pathetic,
Cause I always do.

I sigh and toss a few bills on the tabletop, the girl beside me had been talking all along, I realized. I thought it was the music system. Shaking my head I stub my cigarette, checking my phone for the hundredth time.
Someone squeals beside me. I start and turn to see I had burnt a hole through my date’s purse.
Maybe I’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new
Now I’ve thought it through
I bend over and kiss her, the tobacco mixing with her bubblegum. I think of how you taste on my tongue, and I long to go
Crawling back to you

So have you got the guts?
I find myself back in the same club, telling myself I wasn’t here for you as I scanned the crowd for your lithe figure. The sound is reverberating through the floor, the lights throb in time with the music, as I get lost in the familiar haze of smoke and dancing flashy bodies.
I catch a purple glimpse before your figure is jumping and turning and spinning and dancing in front of me, your gaze catching mine in an invitation that brings all the repressed memories rushing back.
The light catches the gleam of your slim wrist, and I see a man ring his fingers around it, twirling you slowly to a discordant rhythm. You laugh and play along, twirling right into my arms.
I catch your slim figure, telling you that my mind has
Been wondering if your heart’s still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts.
We keep dancing then, till our throats are dry and our bodies spark and fizz with every brush of skin, two girls lost in a haze of neon lights and spirit.

Cut to the next morning, my fingertips tracing the elaborate tattoo on your back.
You are explaining to me the meaning of each whorl and cursive of black ink that paints your back. Always so exuberant, filled with fire, that scorches me to the furthest skies of bliss.
Simmer down and pucker up
You frown and I give you a helpless shrug, feeling the air between us grow warmer with the irritation in your gaze.
I’m sorry to interrupt. It’s just I’m constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you

I feel you relent, and I gaze at you with that same question so close to my tongue, yet
I don’t know if you feel the same as I do
But we could be together if you wanted to
Question is,
Do I wanna know?

My mind shuts me down,The frozen veins and the atrophied brain is my own suffering, who am I to presume
If this feeling flows both ways?

The curve of your waist, the piercing in your navel, the way you twist and turn in my white sheets, I glance at the forgotten bible, God knows I will always be
Sad to see you go.
I lure you back to my place, night after night.
The music is always playing in my room, I devour you with every beat, every pound; the way the songs dance on your skin is beautiful.
I grab your wrist as you switch the music off, getting ready to leave again.
Was sort of hoping that you’d stay
I see the challenge glimmer in your eyes, the silent tease to make me say it, because
Baby we both know
That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day

I pin you down, trapping the purple streak between my fingers, looking down into your eyes as I tell you Id always come
Crawling back to you.

Your gaze shifts to where my phone is buzzing quietly, I watch you, content with examining the contours of your face as you thought it through, my voyeurism at its peak.
Your voice is strained, as you ask
Ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few?
‘Cause I always do.
I think of you dancing, your eyes closed as you leapt and twisted, alone in a crowd full of women trying to be seen. You some how shone like a beacon, surrounded by almost an ethereal glow in the haze of blue fluorescence.
You are my secret, and I am keeping you because
Maybe I’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new
Now I’ve thought it through

Crawling back to you

The nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day
I see your features freeze, the blush flooding up your cheeks as I press my weight down on you, I finally decide
Do I wanna know?
The phone keeps buzzing, I pick it up and toss it down to the floor, abandoned like your clothes.
Too busy being yours to fall
I kiss across your jaw, I know you feel the trail of slow fire, for you are squirming under me, as my voice murmurs
Ever thought of calling darling?
Then I laugh quietly, realizing what you have been trying to achieve all along. I say the words and I feel your skin sizzle,
Do you want me crawling back to you?


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