Trouble

Would you bleed for me?

I lay on the hard floorboard, my eyes opened a crack, watching the sunlight outline your back. The muscles on your arms ripple as you systematically wrap the bandages on your palms. The punching bag hangs above my head, resilient. It doesn’t break as easily as I do.
I lift my skinny arm, the veins blue rivers through my translucent skin. A bruise is blooming, ugly and black, etched in my skin, the grip of your fingers.

Lick it off my lips like you needed me?
The metallic taste on my tongue, from where I bit your lip too hard. You were surprised, at the sudden strength of my scarecrow limbs. The strands of your hair, tugging, yanking- a rustle of urgency that jerks through my limbs with every pump of my heart, and I give in to the unfamiliar frenzy of possession that grips my submissive soul.

Would you sit me on a couch
With your fingers in my mouth?
You look so cool when you’re reading me.
I squirm in my seat, your touches are tender, as they feel the protruding elbows, the pale skin and the stubbled jaw. Your breath is a whisper, as you study the sudden change in my system.
I can feel the blush from my toes to the roots of my hair.

Let’s cause a little trouble.
The boyish smile returns, when you tickle my ribs, the TV blares nonsense in the background. You dangle the keys before my nose, tempting me with rewards.

Oh, you make me feel so weak.
I wonder, biting my lip, my resolve melting away, a pile of sand under the waves of your assault.

I bet you kiss your knuckles.
Right before they touch my cheek.
Of course they caught us. Or they would have, if you hadn’t punched through the glass door. We got out, fugitives, on the run.
I shouldn’t have listened to you. Whatever possessed me to think we could steal from my father.
That we could steal at all.

But I’ve got my mind, made up this time.
I watch your figure, the hulking frame curled up in a foetal position. Blood seeps out through the bandage.
It’s hard to think of you as wicked, when you have your eyes closed like that, but I must try.

Cause there’s a menace in my bed.
Your anger is seeping into me, your recklessness is rubbing off against my inertia till there are sparks flying everywhere.

Can you see his silhouette?
I close my eyes, wishing the world would always be this dark. But you are stirring. The sirens blare outside, I look at your gym-trained arms, think of your volatile claim on me.
I slip out of bed, and am gone before the cops batter down the door.

Can you see his silhouette?

And I’ve got my mind, made up this time.
I sit on a battered car hood, a few blocks away, hugging my knees as stray dogs run across the street.
I feel my pockets for your favourite lighter, and recognise your familiar gait in the shadows at the mouth of the alley.
Go on and light a cigarette, set a fire in my head.
I watch you, my face devoid of emotion. So you escaped, doesn’t matter how. The puff of smoke rings my face as you exhale against my skin, your hands brush against the belt that hangs loosely on my waist.
Set a fire in my head, tonight.
I can hear the sirens in the distance again, but it is lost in the pounding in my ears and the sharp pain in my wrists.

I only get back in my senses, when I see the handcuffs.

Would you lie for me?
I slouch, at the stand. Across from me, you shuffle from one foot to another in the witness box.
They are protecting you from me, giving you immunity in return for your cooperation.

Cross your sorry heart and hope to die for me?
I feel the weight of your words, enunciated slowly, deliberately, and it hangs on me like thousand pound chains.
If I go down, I drag you down with me. There it is again, the angry fire in my veins.

Would you pin me to a wall?
Our scrubs match, orange, garish like the lies we told each other.
I cannot escape you now, in a cell, left to confront our demons. We sold each other out, and I feel your body’s heat seep into mine.

Would you beg or would you crawl?
You take detention, I have a black eye, we are fighting each other more than we thought we could.
Love? Is that what it is then? Is that why your gaze bores into my back when the others are not watching? Or is it why I sleep with a plastic knife under my mattress?

Stick a needle in your hungry eyes for me?
I scream, trying to quench the blood flow, frantically trying to stop your body flooding out on the floor. I shudder at the wound, but you only laugh. I can see the dreaded gleam of hope in your eyes again.
Let’s cause a little trouble.
No, I cannot, I will not give into the madness. We can never escape a state facility. I beg you, I plead; I try to heal the wound but
Oh, you make me feel so weak.
We take up utter lunacy. My hands shake with the inevitable capture we have in store, but we make a great team.
Almost a perfect team.

I bet you kiss your knuckles.
As we stand still in free air, inhaling the taste of being the masters of ourselves, I feel your touch on my wrist.
Right before they touch my cheek.

But I’ve got my mind, made up this time.
I close my eyes, kiss the lips that have taken me in and out of hell. But betrayal runs deep in our blood.
Cause there’s a menace in my bed.
Can you see his silhouette?
I stay impassive as they take you away. Unblinking, as I sell your life for my own. Remorseless, almost but not quite.
As you struggle like an animal, I cup the square jaw, run my knuckles down your skin, anyone can be a punching bag.

Can you see his silhouette?

Don’t forget me, don’t forget me.
I leave a mark on your skin, a reminder of all the bruises you gave me in the name of love.
I wouldn’t leave you if you’d let me.
You and I are bound together, for as long as we live, by the threads of lies and deceit.

When you met me when you met me.
You told me you were gonna get me.
You picked me up, and broke me into seven pieces.
One for each time you looked into my eyes and broke my sanity. Our love burnt to cinders,
And your mouth is full of its ashes.
Don’t forget me don’t forget me.

Song: trouble by Halsey

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