I don’t remember the first time I put a cigarette to my lips. Maybe I don’t want to remember. Something’s shouldn’t be remembered, all those moments which you shove at the back of your head in a box labeled stupidity.
This isn’t a story. This is a thought, but it is a long thought, so you may want to take a seat.
Smoking is injurious to health.
How many times have we heard this phrase reiterated? Movie screens, roadside shops, even, even on the packet of these cancer sticks.
Yes, it is injurious to health, and so you vigorously wave your flags of propaganda at my face. Quit, or die. Skulls, lung cancer, death, death, death.
Its a funny word, one every non-smoker throws at me when my lighter flares. Am I flouting you, am I offending you with my slow acceptance of suicide?
But do you?
Do you apologise, for warning me to not blow in death, yet not warning me about the death that is living in a world that will never understand?
Do you apologise for not understanding?
I don’t speak for anyone but myself, mind you. I ask you today, to look inside yourself and wonder at the why.
Why must you take it upon yourself to remind me what I am doing is hurting myself? Why today, why for this reason instead of the other thousand which hurts, tears and breaks?
I know what happens when I smoke.
I read it in great detail.
I know about the weakness in my writing hand when it shakes like a leaf, and the headache that throbs into my system. I know why its happening.
Yet I smoke.
You think I do it because I’m weak, because I can’t stop, oh lord no.
I might be weak, and pathetic but I have an iron will, a will that might not care about what you say, but will never go against what I believe I deserve.
To all those banner-holding wise-cracks telling us, (it’s an us and them, it’s funny how humans always find ways to discriminate) to quit.
Maybe try giving us a reason better than ‘its injurious to your health’
Its the twentyfirst century.
Everything is injurious to health, and most of those things dont even come with a warning handy.
Do you walk up to a person slicing her wrist and tell her to quit?
Do you wave a banner saying quit in front of the guy beating his head against the wall?
Be responsible, don’t pick up the habit if you haven’t already.
If you have, find a reason to quit. Find hope. I’m sure it’s there somewhere.
And never stop listening to yourself.
Don’t die just because you couldn’t stop yourself when you should have.
Don’t let cigarettes drive you, drive with a cigarette dangling from the corner of your lip.
Have the courage to stub it out, not because they asked you to,
but because you can.