How brave can you be,
One step foxtrot and I cannot tell you
If violence is beautiful on my skin
I am a map, bleeding out in veins
The delicate stories of a breath on your skin
Till you’re dancing on the edge of the terrace at sunset,
Wondering if it’s okay,
He is in another’s arms
You are in another’s arms
Is it okay
Are you brave enough
For this fight against hope
Is your will strong enough to understand
What it feels truly to share a man,
Can you close your eyes, feel another’s kiss,
Understand that his fingers run across a girl’s hips that are not your own
You’re not his,
He is not yours
And the smell of sulphur and gunpowder
You think you’re breaking,but you’re not sure
You’ve never really been too whole to begin with, so you take what they give you. At night when he feels insecure, touches your lip and asks you if it’s okay, if it’s okay
You wonder where the base line for okay is, you nod and console him thinking about
No dreaming about, scratch that yearning for a place in this world where there is a place with your name on it
And noone else’s.
Turns out you’re selfish after all, yet humans cannot be owned so you keep the hurt inside, right beside the pride in a jar looking at you as you bake his birthday cake
Years of experience, and you’re just learning.
You wonder what he’d think of the hickey on your shoulder,
And smile a little.
Your phone beeps, a small I love you.
Your heart aches, collateral damage or a new life.
You think it’s time to maybe move away, for good.
Sometimes honesty takes its toll.