Arriving.

And the silver slats of moonlight in my heart are aching
Weeping unicorn blood
In a world of apathetic prisoners
I’m fighting to keep Pandora inside
There isn’t a stronger hurt
A heart that blows up,
Out of proportions,
A mind that refuses to think,
Yet the blood already knows
Churning through my system
I should have pressed release
When I could have
Before I know it
The stars will be falling again
He will catch them from the sky
And squash them in his fist.

My eyes are restless,
My heart is painting my skin in blushes of
Red, and I am terrified
Of his countenance.

A deep breath, didn’t help
The heart is now at its crescendo,waiting for its usual
Let down
For the anticlimax
Climbing up
For the fall is faster
Katharsis is stronger
When the fall is from greatness.

how to save a life?
Step one,
Encapsulate you sanity
In a bubble very similar
To the kind of self-harm
You inflict late at night
When the knife pierces the skin you hate
Its just the same
As not breathing
For a whole journey
Because the destination has
Been waiting
With its brilliance
To disappoint you.
Some lights are spot lights for ball room dances,
Some, however
Are headlights
Of the coming freight train
You list
The projects that will
Be adversely affected
By the tragedy you are walking towards.

Was it worth,
You start weighing the pros
Hurt, hurt brilliant hurt
Against the cons
oh how short a while you shall feel it
And then to chasing the emptiness
For a year.

You’ve made less effort
Than usual, yet it is deliberate.
You put the kohl half-heartedly
But you did it whole hearted
Your whole concentration was
On dressing sloppily,
On looking unremarkable
Because it is worse
When you’re remarkable and
He doesn’t notice.

The flimsy lines of control,
The mock puppet strings
You know,
You never really had a choice.
All of this wasn’t just
A reality that you willingly stepped into
It was a predefined concept.
You know you had to go through it
Even if you thought you chose to
You do silly things when you’re blind.

You think of home
Mid travel
Your home is waiting on its toes,
So ready to let you back in
With all your disappointment crashing down on your shoulders
It’s created a tiny hole
From where your dog got in,
Youll be crumpled too
A half of yourself
By the end of today.

You examine your heart again,
It’s aching,
Excited at its own death,
Exuberance that is flooding
Without thought,
Or hope,
Of a better future.
You welcome your demise, walking towards it
In cold calculated steps
That will soon echo down into nothing

You will be half of who you used to be
And that half will cry
Itself to sleep
For three nights
And curse dead stars,
Wondering about death
With more intensity, and then
You think of the neglect in your body
It’s well deserved.
You gazed into the abyss,
Store the water from a fool,
In the form of tears,
The door dings
All that is of is broken signs
You’re here.

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